I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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