There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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