Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
