when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
