): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
