So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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