I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
