Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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