I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
