it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
God gave him joint rollers for hands
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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