i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
