She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
