the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
