if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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