We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
