So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
My Sexting was not on an AP level
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
