so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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