if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
