Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wish you could order shots online.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
