well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
