I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
