This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
