Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
