Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
