I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
