After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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