we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
