dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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