and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
