I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
