i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
