is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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