Soap is not a condiment
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
