opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
