Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
