can u get pink eye on your cock?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My vagina just recognized that song.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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