:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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