Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
