The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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