did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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