I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
