Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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