I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize