Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
