I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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