I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
