So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
