If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
