This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
