...so i touched it.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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