Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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