Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
