Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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