He asked to "fluff my boner.."
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Randomize
