i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
