How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
