Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
