hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
