I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
