I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm bleeding and have questions
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