his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
