He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize