bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
there was a trapeze. enough said
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
