Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
