Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize