Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
