Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My penis needs a shock collar
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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