i think i have herpe
just one?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
