Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
