i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
